Why “African Parents” is Not a Personality Type

If you’ve been on social media lately, you’ve probably seen the jokes.

“African parents will wake you up at 5 AM to wash plates.”

“African parents don’t say sorry; they just ask if you’ve eaten.”

“African parents think WiFi is the reason you’re disrespectful.”

Is it funny? Absolutely. Relatable? Very.

But the problem is that we’ve normalised dysfunction and started treating “African parent” like it’s a personality type instead of what it really is - a set of broken systems passed down for generations.

Many of the things we laugh about are actually symptoms of deeper family issues:

- Parents who confuse fear for respect.

- Homes where discipline is more about control than guidance.

- Families where children grow up emotionally disconnected, even though their physical needs are met.

The result is adults who repeat the same patterns because “that’s how African parents are," but culture is not destiny. Systems can be re-engineered.

Culture gave us proverbs, legacies, and resilience, but culture without systems becomes chaotic. For example:

- A parent who pays school fees but never builds an emotional connection.

- A father who believes being “the man” means he cannot be vulnerable.

- A mother who sacrifices her identity because she was told endurance is proof of love.

We cannot keep hiding behind “African parenting” as an excuse for poor family practices.
One of the perks of our Family Systems Engineering certification program is that it equips practitioners to help communities break toxic cycles while preserving what is beautiful in our culture.

Instead of joking about the dysfunction of African parents, imagine a future where we celebrate African families for raising confident and emotionally healthy children who can lead globally.
Being African is not a problem, but parenting without systems is.

The next time you hear someone say “That’s just how African parents are”, remember:

👉 That’s not a personality type.

👉 It’s a system that can (and must) be re-engineered.

At IFED, that’s exactly what we do. We train practitioners and coaches to design better families, better legacies, and better communities.

Register to be trained here: ifedacademy.com/fsec